This is How I Make Oatmeal

Spongebob’s intense dedication to proper bubble-blowing technique? Wildly reflective of my intense dedication to proper oatmeal-cooking technique.

Microwavable, bland brown sugar oats are not welcomed on my tastebuds. Shouldn’t be welcomed on yours either. We deserve better… a taste of the finer things in life, really.

I promise it’s actually extremely easy and even more worth the extra, let’s say, 7 minutes??

Here’s a simple formula to make a good bowl of oats:

oats + liquid + spice + sweetener + toppings

Easier than most formulas you’ve been given over the years. Tastier, too.

Okay, it’s time. The moment we’ve all been waiting for. The technique.

On the stove, cook 1/2 cup of rolled oats, 1 cup water, 1/2 a chopped ripe banana (the riper the banana, the sweeter the oats), and cinnamon on medium heat, stirring occasionally until the mixture boils

Continue stirring consistently until the banana is cooked down, the liquid is soaked up, and the porridge is creamy as can be

Pour the cooked oats into a bowl, top with cinnamon, fresh fruit, a generous glob of peanut butter (do not skimp here, it’s improper technique to skimp on the pb), more cinnamon, something crunchy (I prefer sunflower seeds, pepitas, or cacao nibs) and a splash of cashew milk.

The thick creamy oats, the contrasting cold cashew milk, the fresh fruit, the melty peanut butter, the seedy crunch, the warmth of the cinnamon… the experience a microwave packet of brown sugar and maple instant oats could never give you.

Onward and upward!